Magnets

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  Been feeling a little tired and irritable lately. Googled my symptoms to see what I might have…-MAGNET

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  Clean! put them away you lazy bum!…-MAGNET

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  Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… Alone.-MAGNET

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  I cannot live laugh love in these conditions-MAGNET

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  I don’t mean to show off, but I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 10 minutes-MAGNET

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  I love it when my kids sigh. Like, what troubles you, my sweet little unemployed freeloader? -MAGNET

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  I think I might need professional help… a chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. -MAGNET

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  I tried to be a vegetarian, but bacon had other plans. -MAGNET

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  Is our house clean? No, but we are making memories that’ll last a lifetime. Also no.-MAGNET

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  Looking for food-MAGNET

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  Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighbourhood-MAGNET

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  My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80’s… -MAGNET

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  Remember life isn’t a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. -MAGNET

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  Some people just need a high-five… in the face… with a frying pan. -MAGNET

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  The risk I took was calculated, unfortunately I’m bad at math-MAGNET

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  They teach us kindness when we are kids, but it feels like there needs to be a bit more follow-up.-MAGNET

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  We’ll be friends until we are old and senile, then we’ll be new friends!-MAGNET

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  You let your dog sleep in the bed? Yeah, and I’d let them borrow my car if they needed it.-MAGNET

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